but what about the menz? (introduction)

"But what about the men!?" is shorthand for the kind of interjection that regularly derails attempts to talk about feminism (particularly on the internet, but really, in general). This phenomenon is discussed in great detail in a fine post at Finally, A Feminism 101 Blog, and if you're not familiar with the phenomenon or the blog, you should go read it.

That said, it's a question that's been itching at me lately. Maybe it's just because it keeps getting asked, and therefore feels important the way that lies, repeated over and over again, can start to feel true.

I've spent a lot of time and energy over the last decade trying to educate well-meaning men. It's a dangerous pastime, really. The danger, for me, is that I get sucked into stripping out anything that could possibly sound like an accusation, and thereby let everybody off the hook for examining their own privilege. The argument in the Finally, A Feminism 101 Blog post that these discussions should be led by allies, not by women, has a lot of sense to it.

But lately I've been feeling interested in how the patriarchy affects male allies. Not because I really care about men as a mass noun -- I figure there are plenty of other systems in place doing a fine job of that already -- but because I'm wondering what it can tell us about the patriarchy, and whether looking through that lens can help us -- feminists, women, allies, and so on -- dismantle that system.

so if the next handful of posts appear to be all about the boys, that's why.